Thursday, October 16, 2008

Be Thankful

As humans, we often take life for granted. Due to our busy life, we go about doing our business almost like the emotionless robot. We often fail to appreciate the small things in life and we tend to forget to be thankful for what we have. When we do sit to enjoy the fruits of our success, we often felt that it is a direct result of our years of hard work.

However, do we ever think of those angels who had helped and supported us along the way? Do we ever thank them for it? Do we even remember their names?

I have been very blessed throughout my working life. At 19, my first job was as an accounts clerk at Johnson & Johnson Medical. As the youngest one there, I had many mentors who thought me the ropes. I learned how to do basic accounting, how to write or print cheques, how to correctly converse with customers and many more. Most importantly, I learn how do use the computer.

When I started working with Mesiniaga in 1995, I had to use the typewriter to issue out the company’s purchase orders. As it was the first time for me to use it, I spoilt so many copies of the forms initially. It was a carbon copy form, so I had to use a new form each time I made an mistake in typing. I was so afraid of loosing my job over this.:-)

The past 16 years has been a wonderful journey.

Looking back, I could see an 18-year-old girl holding her SPM results standing at the bus stop in front of her school, wondering what to do next. The one thing I can tell you now is that never in a million years would she dare to dream of achieving as much as she has today.

Therefore, I am truly thankful for all the guidance and help that I got along the way. I learned valuable work as well as life lessons. I made some life long friendships too.

For these gifts, I am thankful to Allah for all His blessing and I am thankful to everyone who had helped me along the way.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Got this in my email today..

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own, even if she never wants to or needs to...


A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
something perfect to wear if the employer, or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...


A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..
a youth she's content to leave behind....


A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age....


A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...


A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
one friend who always makes her laugh... and one who lets her cry...


A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family...


A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal, that will make her guests feel honored...


A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a feeling of control over her destiny...


EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to fall in love without losing herself..


EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship...


EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...


EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..


EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that her childhood may not have been perfect...but its over...


EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...


EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...


EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..
whom she can trust, whom she can't, and why she shouldn't take it personally...


EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
where to go... be it to her best friend's kitchen table... or a charming inn in the woods... when her soul needs soothing...


EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she can and can't accomplish in a day... a month...and a year...

When people say…

When we were younger, we used to listen to everything that the older folks tell us. “Do not play outside when it’s hot.”, “Do not take a bath immediately after returning home from the playground.” and “Do not go to bed immediately after a meal.” We obediently listened and obeyed without raising the question why.

When we were younger, we always look up to our parents or the people around us for guidance or affirmations on the things we do daily. The smiles were wide and the sense of pride ran deep in our hearts when compliments were given over things we did based on the guidance given.

However, as we get older, we tend not to listen well and because of that, we tend to get hurt time and time again. Somehow, as we are older, we felt that it is not important to listen to other people’s guidance, advice or opinions. We often felt that we are well equipped and strong enough to go through life without them.

I fell for a guy. Over the years, people around me kept saying (either subtly or to my face) that he is not the right one but I choose to ignore them. How would they know? They didn’t know him. They didn’t spent time with him like I did. They didn’t talk to him as much as I did. So, how would they know he’s not the right one?

But today, with my head held up high, I face the reality. I felt a tug in my heart telling me that whatever dream that I once had about us is never going to be a reality. And although it pains me, it is really time for me to move on. I harbor no bad feelings towards him as he had never said or promised me anything. It was just the plain silly, romantic and sentimental old me that went beyond what it really was.

As I am a firm believer of everything happens for a reason – this one tells me that HE has better plan in place for me...

Saturday, October 11, 2008

The week that passed...

It’s been a long week for me. Not having much to do in the office make my time at work seems extremely long. Thank god for chat tools for I spent most of my time chatting with friends. Yes, I am guilty of that but its not like I have other things to do. :-p

I've been feeling agitated and irritable this week too. It's like I have this huge rock inside of me that's pulling me down. Sometimes it feels as if I am drowning. Maybe I would feel better if I scream all my frustration away. Could you find me a sound proof room, please?

I am tired to always have to pick up someone’s slack. For always being the fall back person. The one everybody can depend on. Sometimes I quietly wish that I could just drop everything off my back and say to hell with it all!! I just don't seem to have the patience, the energy and the perseverance that I once have. As my status in FB today states, ‘screw it!!’ haha..

Having the clouds pouring its guts out on most of the evenings this week doesn't help too. I know rain is a blessed sign from Allah but getting stuck for hours in crawling traffic amidst the selfish and crazy KL drivers is a real test to one's patience, especially when you drive in a manual car such as mine. This is why I am thinking of changing to an automatic car. It’s a good time to sell my Iswara as the buying price currently matched the balance of my bank loan. However, having a new car would mean more expenses and with the recession looming, I am not sure if it is a good move. But if I don’t sell off the car now, its value will drop lower than my loan balance in a few months time. So guys, I am in a dilemma... Please help me to decide.

And here's to hoping that the weekend will bring more laughter in my life. God knows how much I need it.

Friday, October 10, 2008

In The Next 5 months..

I will

  1. have more 'me' time (to do my reading, writing, to travel or hang out w friends)
  2. loose 5kg
  3. run 2 donation drive (in dec 08 & mac 09)
  4. save some $$ (hopefully will be enough for me to perform my umrah)

hmm... i actually wanted to have 5 things to target for but can't really come up with the last one right now.. so let's concentrate on these for now..

wish me luck guys! ;-p

Sunday, October 5, 2008

This Hari Raya

This is the first raya where we celebrated without one of my sisters. Kakak who got married in May had to celebrate Raya in JB as her hubby is put on stand by by the arm forces. It felt kind of strange to me and I am sure the whole family felt it too.

This is also the first raya where we didn't make any baju raya for ourselves. The plan was to wear our cream coloured kurung which we made for Kakak's wedding. Even though I was fine with it before but when the actual day came, it just felt weird to me.

We also broke one of the family traditions - we didn't take any family raya photos..

That's why this raya feels a bit off for me..

Hopefully, in the next 25 days to come, it will get better..


Everything happens for a reason - this one tells me to make sure I have a new baju kurung for Hari Raya - no matter what! hehe...

Thursday, October 2, 2008

The Act of Forgiveness


Hari Raya is always said to be the day that we ask/seek for forgiveness for all our wrong doings in the past year. I for one am a person who seeks forgiveness easily and I often cry when I do so. I get laughed at by my sisters when I cry while I salam my parents. heck.. I even cry when my younger sisters salam me. That's just me being the big old crying lady!

Anyway, sometimes I wonder, when we ask for forgiveness, are we really granted one? Or is it just merely an act? Has it become a mere routine during Hari Raya that we say "Maaf Zahir Batin" when we shook hands with our family and friends? Did we really mean it? And do we really forgive the person who is asking for it and are we really forgiven?

So with my mom, I always make sure I asked, "mak ampunkan ye" and make sure she said "Ye, mak ampunkan". Being unmarried, my heaven is supposedly to be under my mom's feet so as long as my mom's has forgiven me, I feel like the doors of heaven has opened up for me. :-)

Forgiving someone is a tall order. For some, it is easily given while some find it hard to forgive. For the latter, I wonder if they themselves have never sought for other's forgiveness. Are they a form of a higher being that never made any mistakes in their lives? For us as the servants of Allah, surely at one time or another had hurt some one's feeling. We surely had 'step on some one's tail" or "jerk some one's chains" So it just bewildered me to see how some people could hold on to grudges for years and does not grant forgiveness no matter how many times forgiveness is seek upon.

As we live in this world on such borrowed time, it is important that we seek and grant forgiveness whenever it is deemed or seek upon. Remember, Allah loves those who forgives and make amends.